People get paid for writing stuff like this? Amazing. The Washington Post (05.24.06), no less, via The Grit:
“He pressed his stethoscope to the gorilla’s chest and narrowed his eyes. Kuja, a silverback patriarch, was breathing isofluorine.
He was the Senate majority leader of the gorillas, who negotiated disputes, back-slapped the ape boys and owned exclusive mating rights with the females.”
The Senate majority leader of the gorillas? Back-slapped the ape boys? Owned exclusive mating rights with the females?
Oh, and it gets even better!
“The stink of ape sweat and gorilla testosterone soaked his hair and clothes.”
“At 9:30 a.m., Frist opened the Senate, gripping the corners of the lectern, as he had the operating table. Across the city, rolling in a bed of hay, Kuja opened his eyes and grunted. The gorilla kept touching his tongue to his tooth. Something had changed inside of the beast while he slept. Frist smiled and spoke unremarkably from the lectern, reeking of silverback testosterone.”
Bill must have been thinking about the cigarette they shared, eh?
Concupiscently speaking, does the author of this article (Laura Blumenfeld) have a thing for Bill, or what?
Wonkette really liked it.
KNOBBOY 
05/25/06 at 2:36 PM
At least Clinton kept to his own species.
pt.
05/27/06 at 9:29 AM
Then again, no one’s done a DNA analysis on Frist.